


Just Heathers

by thiccsquare



Category: Heathers (1988), Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-13
Updated: 2019-08-04
Packaged: 2019-11-08 02:43:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17972951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thiccsquare/pseuds/thiccsquare
Summary: Just some one-shots. Some are dark some are not





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heather Duke/Heather McNamara 
> 
> "I'm sorry."

Heather McNamara was laying on her couch when she heard the doorbell rang. She reluctantly got up to answer the door.

"Who is it?" McNamara called out. No one answered. 

McNamara opened up the door cautiously only to see-

"Heather?" McNamara asked sounding shocked.

Heather Duke stood on the other side of the door fidgeting with her fingers. She smiled at McNamara which turned into more of a grimace. McNamara stood there stunned. She blinked a few times making sure she wasn't seeing things.

"What do you want, Heather?" she said quietly. 

"Um-I just want to... you know... apologize," Duke swallowed.

McNamara almost wanted to laugh. Heather Duke, her ex-girlfriend, the girl who ruthlessly bullied her to the point she almost committed suicide, wants to... apologize to her?

McNamara shook her head thinking she misheard her. "... What?"

"I-I want to apologize. Really, I do," Duke said.

… This was really happening. McNamara wordlessly stepped outside closing the door behind her. She crossed her arms staring at Duke. It made Duke squirm a bit. 

Duke swallowed. "I... um... I'm sorry. For everything. For breaking up with you, for treating you like shit, for not making sure you were ok-"

"Why did you do that?" McNamara interjected.

"Do what?"

"Do all that stuff. Why did you hurt me? After Heather died you turned to a real bitch. Just... why?"

Duke looked down at her shoes ashamed. "I guess I wanted you to feel how I felt when Heather was alive. I don't-I don't know. All you have to know is I do regret how I treated you and if I could take it all back I would."

McNamara bit her lip looking away. "Heather, I can't forgive you. Not right now at least. It still hurts and on top of that you are kind of my ex which makes it hurt even more."

Duke sighed. "I really am sorry. If it makes you feel any better, Veronica punched me the other day saying I was an asshole.

"How is that supposed to make me feel better? You know I hate violence."

"Because you hate me and it's what I deserve?"

McNamara sighed. "I don't hate you. I'm mad you did all the things you did, but I don't hate you. I'm mostly afraid of you, actually."

Duke finally looked up at McNamara. "Why are you afraid of me?"

"I'm afraid you'll hurt me again or something."

"Oh. I never wanted you to feel that way. Again, I really am-"

Duke was cut off by McNamara embracing her with a hug. She there frozen for a bit before she relaxed wrapping her arms around McNamara. There were no words exchanged between them in this moment, just enjoying each other's embrace. McNamara pulled away looking up at Duke.

"It's going to take a while for me to forgive and trust you again, but in the meantime, we don't have to be awkward with each other or anything, okay?"

Duke nodded her head.

"Well, Veronica is going to be here in a minute and I rather not see you get punched right now so..."

"Yeah. I'll be gone. Um... bye," Duke said waving goodbye.

McNamara went back inside her house with a little smile on her face. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heather Duke/Heather Chandler  
> TW: Mention of Suicide, D slur

"You're so insufferable sometimes!" Chandler screamed at Duke, her voice echoing through the quiet household.

"Me? Insufferable?" Duke scoffed. "Take a good look in the mirror. If I had a dictionary right now and went to the word 'insufferable', your name would be listed!"

"You think you're so fucking clever, don't you?" Chandler squinted her eyes. "If  _I_   had a dictionary right now and went to the word 'bulimia', there would be a picture of your face!"

Chandler regretted saying that.

That comment only made Duke angrier. "Why is everything a competition to you! That's not the point right now! The point I'm trying to get across is you always say I'm irritating when you're the most irritating person in school and you know that! You are such a hypocrite!"

"Well, yeah. When you're head bitch of the school, that's kind of your job. Not like you would know anything about that, now would you?" Chandler said.

It took all of Duke's power to not let out a blood-curdling scream right then and there.

"Why do you do that? Everytime I point out one of your flaws, you always have to point out mine and put me down as a defense mechanism! You're not flawless for fucks sake! On top of that, I’m your girlfriend. You know I would never on purpose try to hurt you!" Duke yelled.

"I do not put you down!"

"Yes, you do! You just did!" 

Chandler couldn't think of any comeback for once. This was new to her. She didn't know how to respond so she said her classic line:

"Shut up, Heather!" Chandler snapped.

Duke threw her hands up in the air in defeat.

"That's it. I'm done. I'm officially done with your bullshit! We're through!" Duke said as she was opening the front door.

Chandler was in shock. "Y-you can't do that!" She protested.

"Just did," Duke retorted.

The loud slam of the door echoed throughout the house.

Chandler was heart broken to say the least. There was a dull throbbing ache in her chest. It physically hurt. It hurt so much, Chandler had to go sit down on the couch. She put her head in her hands thinking of the good memories she made with Duke when they were together. As she got deeper and deeper into her thoughts, she started thinking of where she went wrong in the relationship. All the mistakes she'd done, pointing them out one by one. She kept going farther down in the rabbit hole of her mind, descending further and further into insanity. Her brain just wouldn't shut off. She started to hyperventilate, her breathing getting worse as she began to cry. She let out a guttural scream. Soon, the dull ache in her chest was taken over by a fiery rage.

Chandler quickly stood up taking her shoe off. She sent her shoe hurling through the air colliding with the wall, leaving a big dent.

 _She'll pay,_ Chandler thought.  _She'll regret breaking up with me._

 

The next day, Duke drove to school like any other normal day. Found a parking space, parked, got out of the car, paid no mind to the amount of stares she was getting, the usual. Although, the amount of people staring at her were more than the 'usual'. Some people even pointed and snickered, some looked at her curiously, others looked at her in disgust. Duke shrugged it off and walked into school. The staring continued, but again, she didn't care.

Duke arrived at her locker only to see the word 'Heather Dyke' etched into it. This completely took her by surprise. How did people find out?

Duke felt someone tap on her shoulder and she turned around. It was McNamara.

"Heather. Is it true?" Mac asked.

"What's true?" Duke questioned seemingly oblivious.

"That, you know, you're a...a lesbian," Mac said whispering lesbian carefully as if it was a forbidden word at school.

"What? No, of course not!" Duke lied. "Who told you that?"

"Well, Chandler's been going around telling everyone that you came out as a...lesbian and tried to kiss her."

Duke's whole world shattered in that moment. Chandler, someone she still loved, was now outing her out to the whole school. Duke could flip the rumor on its head and say that Heather Chandler is a lesbian. In fact, Chandler is more of a big, fat lesbian than Duke is. People wouldn't believe that though. They would think Duke is trying to get back at Chandler by saying the same thing.

"Heather?" Mac softly called out snapping Duke out of her thoughts.

"Y-yeah?" Duke meekly asked.

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah, yeah. Why wouldn't I be?"

"You're crying," Mac said pointing at a lone tear running down Duke's cheek.

Duke swiftly wiped it off turning back around to enter her locker number.

Mac put a hand on Duke's shoulder and said, "Hey. If it makes you feel any better, I don't care that you're a-" 

"I'm not a lesbian!" Duke semi-yelled as she turned around quickly to face Mac.

Nearly, everyone in the halls heard it, turning their heads toward the Heathers. A moment passed and people went back to what they were doing.

"I-I'm not a lesbian," Duke said significantly quieter. She turned back around to her locker and took out her Chemistry book.

"Ok. I believe you," Mac replied.

"Thanks." Duke softly said.

Duke closed her locker and walked to her first class of the day.

The rest of the day was in ruins. The stares she got in the halls were becoming more noticeable, people whispered slurs under their breath, she couldn't even go to the rest of her classes without feeling the class look at her in disgust. She felt...isolated, different. Is this what it felt like to be a nobody?

 

It was lunchtime and Duke hid out in the girl's bathroom, not ready to face Heather Chandler. Also, she needed to purge, it was her daily routine. Sticking her two fingers towards the back of her throat as far as she can go, then heaving and gagging violently. All the food she ate today cam out into the toilet bowl. As she was throwing up her guts in the farthest bathroom stall, the Heathers walked in.

"Oh, look, Heather. It's Heather Dyke puking her guts out as usual," Chandler said to Mac.

"Heather..." Mac said sounding shocked.

Duke didn't speak for a minute, breathing heavily, still trying to compose herself.

"What? Not gonna say anything?" Chandler sneered to Duke.

"Heather, stop." Mac pleaded.

Sounds of Duke throwing up filled the room.

"Fucking disgusting," Chandler muttered under her breath.

"...Go away...Heather." Duke said through ragged breaths. She started gagging vigorously then threw up the last of her food in the toilet.

She flushed it and walked out of the stall.

"Oh, look. She's finally done purging." Chandler taunted.

Duke took in a shaky breath. "Fuck off," she said.

"How original," Chandler snarkily smiled.

"Heath-" Mac tried to cut in.

"Shut up, Heather!" Chandler yelled.

Mac went silent.

"Heather," Chandler said to Duke. "Congratulations, you are now officially kicked out of the Heathers. We can't have a lesbian in this group. Sorry, there's a no lesbians allowed rule."

Duke's world fell apart right in that very moment. All she could see is red. All the effort she put in to rise to the top of the social hierarchy, only to have be thrown away in seconds. Oh, how she would love to expose Chandler right now, yelling it out for everyone to hear. Telling everyone that Chandler too is a lesbian. She couldn't though. She didn't have the courage.

Meanwhile, Chandler felt a surge of pride and guilt rush into her system. Pride from giving Duke a piece of her mind. Saying, "how dare you break up with me" and "I have the power to ruin your reputation in one snap". Guilt because the way light in Duke's green eyes went out in a matter of seconds haunted her. Sure, she's ruined lives before, but not of someone she deeply cared about.

Chandler faked a smile at Duke and walked out of the room, Mac following close behind. Mac paused for a second to look at Duke then walked out.

Duke rushed back into the stall to throw up again once more.

 

The next few months of school became a living hell. It became school news that Heather Duke, second bitch in command, was not apart of the heathers anymore. This gave the jocks, cheerleaders, nobodies, etc. power to bully Duke. Even though Duke never really messed with the cheerleaders or jocks they still gave her crap. The cheerleaders would always walk in groups in the halls as to be "safe from Duke. The jock would go up to Duke and offer her sex saying, "I could make you straight." Made her feel really fucking uncomfortable.

The nobodies were a different story though. They took advantage of their new found  _power_ at any given opportunity. 

Calling her countless names, pushing her in the halls, taunting her, it was all to much. Even some of the kids she bullied had no mercy on her.

She wanted it to stop. 

She had no more "friends". She had to sit at the back of the lunchroom by the loners like Martha Dump truck and Jason Dean. She quickly stopped sitting by Jason as he was starting to creep her out. He kept telling her to kill her friends for what they did to her.

The last thing she needs is to be convicted for a murder and thrown in jail.

Duke wanted to literally drop dead on the floor than face her classmates. She felt alone all the time and had no one to talk to. No one liked her. People avoided her, treated her like she was a disease. She hated it.

She hated everyone ignoring her, she hated no one feared her, she hated that she got "replaced" by some bitch named Veronica. She hated McNamara, she hated Chandler, she hated Veronica, she hated everything!

Don't even let her get started on the voices that ran through her mind constantly 24/7.  _Kill yourself_ or  _No one would care if you left_ or  _Why do you even exist in this world_ or her personal favorite,  _Everything about you is so terrible!_

She wanted it all to go away.

She didn't like the feeling of not being wanted. She didn't like the feeling that any time she was a mile away from school she wanted to throw up or had the strong urge to cry. Maybe even do both. 

She wanted to turn her brain off. She didn't want to not live on this beautiful place called Earth, no. (Which is ironic because she is literally killing herself with her bulimia.) She just wanted to make the thoughts go away for a day. That's all she asked, but they didn't stop. They would never stop. What other choice did she have?

Duke didn't think long and hard what she had to do to make the voices stop. She realized there was only one solution. Someone else may have thought differently and would have most likely suggested something else, but in her mind it was a pretty good plan.

 

Her mother found her dead that night in her room. Heather Duke hung herself, the noose attached to the ceiling fan. Her mom let out a loud wail at the loss of her daughter. She collapsed to the floor crying. She crawled to her daughter where her feet were dangling, wrapping her arms around her daughters legs.

"Heather! Please, no! God, no, Please!" Her mom cried.

Heather's dad ran upstairs.

"Sweetheart, what's wro-" He started but never finished.

He stood there, frozen like a statue. He couldn't move. He felt everything go numb. He was at a loss for words. He had lost a child, a child he loved dearly. Silent tears ran down his cheeks.

He looked over at the desk beside her bed and saw a note. He got the courage to walk over to it picking it up. He carefully unfolded it, looking at the words on the page. It read:

Sometimes the people you love the most become your greatest enemy. I want the voices in my head to stop. I love you Mom, Dad, and Hunter. I'm sorry.

-Heather Duke

Heather's dad was not holding back his tears now.

Next came her little brother, running into the room. 

"Mom! Have you seen Heather? I wanted to sho-" He started. Just like his dad, he never finished his sentence. 

Her brother slowly walked up to her body. He took her hand in his and immediately felt the coldness in it. How light it felt and how he could easily move it. He looked up and saw her eyes were still open, the, light completely drained out of them. There was not human behind her eyes, there was nothing, just a cold corpse. 

Heather's dad finally got the courage to move to the phone and call an ambulance. 

Heather's brother felt his world go dark. He blocked out the sound of his mother crying and his dad calling the police.

 

Word got around at school that Heather Duke killed herself. The funeral was in a week. Everyone was shaken up and guilty, mostly Heather Chandler and Mac, since they knew her. 

Chandler, Mac and Veronica sat in silence at lunch, picking at their food. Chandler was wreck, tears coming out of her eyes but forcing herself not to cry in the middle of lunch. It was her fault Duke was dead. If she wouldn't have tried to get her revenge she so hoped for, maybe Duke would be sitting here right now. That fiery rage that was in her chest was taken over by a strong sense of guilt.

Mac had tears in her eyes and was full on balling. She stood by and watched. She saw how Duke was and the excessive bullying from Chandler, but she wasn't brave enough to stand to her and stop it. That made her cry harder. Veronica rubbed her back as an attempt to comfort her.

Mac wiped her eyes and looked at Chandler. "Heather," she said her voice cracking.

"What?" Chandler asked still looking down at her food.

"I hate you."

Chandler looked up at Mac seeing the anger in her eyes. 

"I hate myself too," Chandler replied.

"Why'd you even spread that rumor anyway? So what, Duke was a lesbian? What makes her so different? Huh?" Mac questioned.

"She broke up with me," Chandler quietly said.

Mac sat there stunned. Her face of shock quickly turned into anger.

"Oh, just because she broke up with you, you had to go around and out her like that? That's bullshit! This is Sherwood, Ohio. Did you not think it through that people would mercilessly attack her? Your pathetic. And I saw you as someone brave." 

Chandler slammed her hands on the table standing up. Everyone in the cafeteria went silent and turned to the Heathers. 

"It's not like you did anything to help! You didn't try any attempts to stop me or other people bullying her!" Chandler yelled.

Mac now stood up. "Oh, yeah! Well, this wouldn't have happened if you would stop feeling so revengeful all the time! Just because Duke broke up with your sorry ass, doesn't mean you had to betray her like that!"

That whole lunchroom gasped.

Mac faced towards the crowd. "You hear that, everyone! That's right! The Almighty heather Chandler is a lesbian and was dating Heather Duke! This, coward outed her just because Duke broke up with her! She is a selfish bitch that doesn't think of her consequences!" Mac turned to Chandler. "I hope you suffer the pain Duke went through! I hope you burn in hell!" Mac screamed.

She walked out of the lunchroom, Veronica following her.

Chandler stood there frozen. She turned her head and saw everyone look at her in disgust not because she was a lesbian, no. Because she pushed someone to the brink of suicide with her pettiness. Chandler slowly sat back down putting her face in her hands. She started crying, shaking violently. She felt so overwhelmed. She cried and cried even after the bell rang. She sat in that same spot for the rest of the day crying her eyes out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Consult someone if you are ever feeling these thoughts. Death is never the way out.  
> Suicide hotline:1-800-273-8255


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heather Duke/Heather Chandler
> 
>  
> 
> "Please don't leave."

Room 237. Chandler walked into the room and found Duke laying in bed hooked up to hospital equipment. It took everything in Chandler to not cry in that moment. She walked up to the bed bracing herself for what she was about to see.

Oh God.

In the bed Duke was trying so hard to keep herself awake. Her head was to one side of the bed, her whole body not having the strength to move. She saw Chandler and weakly smiled. She let out a groan as her own way of saying hello.

Chandler lightly touched Duke's head with the back of her hand. "Heather?" 

Duke grunted.

Chandler pulled up a chair to sit at the side of the bed. She kept looking at Duke, how small and frail she looked. No matter how hard Chandler tried, a stubborn tear ran down her face. She kept blinking to make the tears go away, but more came out.

"I'm sorry, Heather," she said. "For not helping you when I had the chance."

Duke grunted as way to say "Don't be sorry."

"But I am," Chandler continued. "I shouldn't have pushed you away. Heather was right. I am an asshole."

Another grunt.

"Yes, I am. I'm an asshole for not helping you when you needed it, I'm an asshole for disregarding your feelings when we had sex that one time... I'm just an ass all around."

Another grunt from Duke disagreeing.

"You like arguing with me, don't you?"

Duke smiled. 

Chandler giggled. Then she turned serious again. "It only feels like yesterday I was telling you to shut up. I regret telling you that. I don't regret a lot of things... actually I do, I regret a lot of things, but that's beside the point."

Duke's smile became a little bit wider.

Chandler reciprocated the gesture. "I really do like you, Heather. I don't know why I didn't say it before."

Duke let out a happy grunt.

"When you get out of here, I'll say it all the fucking time. Instead of 'I like you' it'll be 'I love you', or some corny shit like that, I swear. I'll take you out on dates, we'll go to each other's houses and cuddle while watching a movie. You can tell me about the yearbook committee drama you always talk about. I didn't pay attention then, but this time I will pay attention. We can go to Remington parties and do the craziest shit. This time I will kiss whenever you want me to instead of pushing you away saying it will ruin our reputation. You know what? Fuck our reputation! Honestly, it won't matter-"

Chandler stopped talking because Duke's eyes were closing looking like she was about to sleep.

"Ah, sorry for rambling. Didn't mean to bore you to death."

Just as Chandler said that, a shrill high-pitched noise rang throughout the room. Chandler looked up at the monitor. Her stomach dropped. On the monitor a green line was shown on the screen. 

"... No. Please don't leave me," Chandler whispered.

Nurses and doctors came rushing in ushering Chandler out of the room. She didn't move. She couldn't move. It didn't seem real. It can't be real! Before she knew it, people were grabbing her by the arms trying to force her out of the room. She started screaming. Screaming for the whole world to hear her.

"HEATHER! HEATHER! NOOOOOOO!"


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heather Duke/Heather McNamara
> 
> "I did something bad."

McNamara had just gotten home from work when she heard muffled crying coming from upstairs.

"Hello? Anyone home?" McNamara called out.

There was no answer.

"Heather?" she said trekking up the stairs. 

Before she reached the top of the stairs, she could she the door to the bathroom was cracked open. Through the crack she saw Duke lying on the ground.

"Heather!" McNamara yelled.

She rushed inside the bathroom. Duke laid on the crying her body shaking and uncoherent words were coming from out of her mouth. McNamara sat down on the ground, picking Duke up, pulling her into her arms. 

"Heather, Heather! Are you okay?" McNamara frantically asked.

Duke shook her head. Tears were running down her to McNamara's pants while her shoulders were shaking up and down. She was breathing heavily and it appeared her fingers were wet.

"Heather," McNamara said slowly. "I need you to tell me what happened."

Duke shook her head again.

"Please?"

Duke stayed silent for a minute, refusing to talk. Then she croaked out, "I did something bad."

"You did something bad?" McNamara asked.

Duke nodded her head.

"What'd you do?"

"I made myself throw up," Duke whispered.

Oh. Shit. It's been exactly two years since she's done that.

"Why... why would you do-"

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry, okay!" Duke screamed. "I-I didn't mean to do it! It just happened. Like a reflex. I swear-"

"Shh, shh. It's okay." McNamara pulled Duke closer to her, resting her head on her chest. 

"I'm sorry," Duke said repeating it over and over. 

"Hey, hey, it's okay. Can I just ask a question? What made you do it again?"

"IwassittingdownatStarbucksmindingmyownbusi-" Duke said talking too fast for McNamara to handle.

"Heather. Calm down, take a breath and start over."

Duke took in some shaky breaths collecting her thoughts. "I was sitting down at Starbucks minding my own business when a group of girls walked by and one of them said, 'Jeez she's fatter than my mom.' Sure, some 300-pound woman was sitting behind me, but I couldn't help but think they were talking about me. I felt so disgusted with myself that I threw away my drink, came home and... did it."

"Heather, I believe you are the most beautiful girl I have ever met. Now, do you believe you're beautiful?" McNamara asked.

"Sometimes, but not really."

"What will it take to make you think you are?" 

"I don't know-can you please just... hold me... please."

McNamara and Duke sat there on the cold bathroom floor listening to the silence and Duke's quiet sobs. McNamara rocked her back and forth gently, rubbing her fingers through her hair. She lightly kissed the top of Duke's head. Duke lifted her face up to look at McNamara's. 

"I'm sorry," Duke said.

McNamara held Duke's face in her hands. "Don't be sorry. Remember what I said?"

"You'll help me through anything, big or small."

"That's right. And I'll help you through this too." 

McNamara leaned in to kiss Duke on the lips, but Duke pulled away.

"You know I just threw up, right. It's not going to taste pleasant."

McNamara shrugged and instead kissed Duke on the cheek. "I love you."

"I love you too."


End file.
